Posts Tagged ‘boyfriend’

Understanding Each Other

Saturday, April 9th, 2011

A lot of visitors to this website might be wanting their partner; their boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife to change their ways in order to stop a break up from happening. But you are the only one here, not your partner. You cannot change anyone who does not want to change – not directly, at least. But you can change yourself and influence your partner’s behavior through your own behavior.

The first question you need to ask is;” Do I really understand my partner?” We all like to be understood, but how good are we at understanding others? In fact how willing are we to even try to understand our partners?

Your partner won’t necessarily tell you what it is they feel they need from you, because they may not even know themselves. But you have the resources to find out – simply by asking the right questions. The more we know about a person, the more we are able to understand them.

Make a concerted effort to learn about your partner and everything he or she likes. Do not think about what either of you don’t like! That will set off the critical voice in your head and cause more negativity. Just stick to all the positive stuff. Your partner will soon notice you are getting involved with their interests and become more receptive to your wants and needs. Understanding each other makes for a lasting relationship and strengthens your love.

Boyfriend Girlfriend 2

Wednesday, January 19th, 2011

Med School

OK guys this is not going to make an iota of sense if you do not have a basic knowledge of anatomy!

3 Ways To Win Your Man’s Affection

Monday, June 7th, 2010

If you really want to stop a breakup happening, you must follow these three rules in order to keep your man and win back his love. Remember when you first started dating? What was it that your husband or boyfriend liked about you most? You must know – every couple has the “You know what I first liked about you” chat!

So what happened? Well, life did. Work, commitments, stress all took their toll, and before you know it you ended up taking each other for granted.

But if just one of you makes the effort initially, you can renew your tired relationship into a shiny new one again, because once you let him know how much you are still that gorgeous, playful happy girl he first fell in love with, then he won’t be able to help himself fall in love with you all over again.

First, you need to pay him attention. That often means laughing at his jokes. Yes, they may be lame! But he needs you to laugh at them. If he’s a natural clown, it’s often because making people laugh boosts his self esteem, so not laughing is like a slap in the face.

You’ll know his sense of humor like the back of your hand, so you could even try to predict what he’s going to say, as a way of making fun, but not in a nasty way; in a playful one. That is still paying him attention, so he’ll love it. But make sure you’re smiling, not rolling your eyes, at the time! Men can be just as emotional as women, but they often get angry instead of upset when they think you don’t care.

Secondly, be spontaneous! You must always have creative ideas of fun stuff to do. Write lists if you need to, and arrange fun days out. So many couples end up in a tired old relationship simply due to apathy. They’re too busy or unimaginative to stray from the normal humdrum of day to day life, and they literally become bored of each other.

Become an endless source of surprise and excitement, and he’ll pick up the habit too. He won’t realize it, but he’ll start to get competitive and want to be as creative or more creative than you. You’ll soon find yourself in a whirlwind romance again, because that’s how new couples always behave.

You don’t have to have kids to organize a treasure hunt, or a fancy dress party. Or photographic competitions with a different theme every week or month. And if you really use your imagination, you need not spend a lot of money either. You could play “Who am I” every Saturday. You don’t always need to have the Post-it note on the forehead when out on public, but you could if you don’t mind entertaining the people around you as well! (If you agree to this, he’ll think you’re a hoot!)

And the third thing you need to do to get back to a successful relationship is stay on top of personal maintenance. Be as attractive and as feminine as possible. This might sound fickle, but a lot of people ‘let themselves go’ once they’re in a relationship. It’s all done on a subconscious level, but when folks are single, they stay on top of looking as good as possible, then once they feel they’ve found someone, they stop trying.

But he’s probably let himself go too. You both may have put in weight due to all those take-outs, but if you start to make the effort, he will get the message, the same as with being spontaneous.

If you say stuff like “I’m working out because I can’t stand all this flab” he might get the message that you don’t like his flab either, without you having to insult him.

So don’t forget:

1. Pay him attention
2. Be playful and spontaneous
3. Be attractive and feminine

Used properly, these three tips can be very effective. Any one of these tactics will make a difference to your relationship, but when you combine all three, you’ve got dynamite!

But you have to put everything you’ve got into it. Don’t do half measures. You have to have a constantly positive attitude and always remember your goal, or he’ll see your heart’s not really in it.

Make sure you laugh and play every day, and if you turn heads by looking like a fox too, you’ll drive him crazy! He’ll be so proud to show you off, he’ll start to adore you again.

Good Luck!

stopthatbreakuplogo

The Danger of Always Being Right

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010

stopbreakupSometimes human beings would rather be right, than be happy.

Without even knowing we are doing it, we are searching for the opportunity to say “See? I told you so!” or “You wouldn’t listen to me, would you?”

We are viewing the whole relationship as if it were a battlefield. We are working against each other, when we should be on the same side.

The other day, I asked Phil if he would help me with some gardening. My back was hurting and Phil had told me he would do it, and that I should do some writing, but it was a lovely day and I really wanted to clear the overgrown weeds that made up our mini jungle over the last couple of months.

Before our “shake-up” as I call it, Phil (or I, in the same position) would have sulked(!) and pointed out that it was inevitable I would hurt my back, and said one or both of those statements above.

But this time he just hugged me, rubbed my shoulders and took over the gardening without another word.

It was pointed out to us during our therapy that we often argue just for the sake of arguing, and that we need to recognize how to prevent arguments, even the little (seemingly harmless) trivial ones. No matter how tempting it is to point out to your partner that they are wrong and you are right, assess whether it will have a peaceful outcome. It rarely does!

I have to say Phil has remembered all this stuff a lot better than I have. I notice tons of these subtle differences all the time. Quite often when he could easily point out how I’m wrong and he’s right, he doesn’t bother. When it’s the other way round, I find myself starting to say something, then stopping myself mid-sentence, and Phil will wink at me knowingly!

We have both now been trained to ask ourselves “What will the outcome of my actions (or words) be?”

It’s a lot easier to settle for being happy than being right. So swallow your pride and give it a try!

Stop A Breakup With a Challenge

Tuesday, March 16th, 2010

One amazingly powerful way to stop a breakup is when you focus all your energy on something other than your relationship, and your partner lives through it with you. When was the last time you were really challenged? I don’t mean in a discussion or argument, but in a real adventure or upheaval in your life.

Perhaps it was a sporting event that you had to put all your physical and mental energy into. How about training for running a marathon? Because it is something constructive, your partner would have to be incredibly selfish if they did not support you in something like this.

Perhaps you suffered in some way, and fought to get out of a bad situation. I will never look at adversity as bad luck ever again. Why? Because something happened to us that we thought was one of the cruelest blows of bad luck imaginable. We never would have believed we could survive it and even one day be thankful that it had happened. But we did.

When adversity hits, don’t crumble under the pressure. Think of it as your turn to be tested and an opportunity to prove you can come through it. If you and your partner go through the bad times together and support each other, your bond will grow stronger than ever, because you will learn things about yourselves and each other that you never imagined were possible.

Boyfriend Girlfriend 1

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

Is it sometimes okay to tell a lie?

Stop a Breakup? Stop the Negative Vibes

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

If you need to stop a breakup ASAP, you really need to dump the negative vibes even sooner.

Are you the sort of person who says phrases like “knowing my luck” or “that’s typical!” or “as usual” in a sarcastic or despairing tone when conversing with your partner?

In the same way that people would rather be right than be happy, we often have our default setting on the negative. It’s such an ingrained habit of ours to complain, we are totally unaware of how our behavior comes across to other people.

Even little remarks like that add to the mountain of negative comments we make a hundred times a day, and even others will not necessarily know what it is that puts them off us, but put them off us it does!

There is a reason for everything. So instead of just responding to stuff with a defensive knee-jerk reaction, ask yourself what the underlying reason could be.

Rather than look for the negative in life, your partner or whatever, discover the reason and accept it, or deal with it in a positive way.

If you oppose something, do so positively. Check out the difference between the following statements that could be spoken in any relationship:

“You see? This is the thing about you – you always do this! Every time I try to suggest something, you always have to ruin it by saying it’s a bad idea!”

or

“I understand what you mean honey, maybe it isn’t a practical suggestion for this week, but would you consider it for sometime over the next few weeks? If we do it, and you hate it, you can choose the next thing we do. How about that?”

The second response is not only non-accusatory, it is giving your partner a choice. Once they have a choice, they will feel more involved and be more open to your suggestions in future. Even if they don’t like your idea, they are much more likely to reason with you fairly about it.

So break up with the negative vibes, and not your partner!

The Stop That Breakup blog

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

I have decided to build a blog on how to stop breakups because I was so lucky to find this information out.

They do not teach people this stuff. We are just supposed to muddle through life and know instinctively what to do!

And yet they wouldn’t let you out on the highway without a driving license would they? It’s exactly the same thing. There has to be a proven system to follow in order to get along with your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse. And I have so many post ideas and great info on how to work on your relationship, so you don’t have to break up with your partner.

If you sign up for your free 7 Day Course on the right, you can start putting the advice into action right now! Within minutes you’ll receive Part 1 of your course, and over the next week you will discover the most common mistakes that people in troubled or failed relationships do. Make sure you are not doing any of these or you could lose your partner forever.