All psychologists and psychiatrists know that it is not uncommon for people with low self esteem to stop being attracted to those attracted to them, simply because they feel that if a person likes them, there must be something WRONG with that person!

Seriously.

And insecure people cannot deal with other people’s faults nearly the same as secure people. Very unfair that your attraction for them is seen as a fault, but sadly it happens a lot.

As it is the unconscious mind that governs our moods and behaviour all this can manifest itself without the person even knowing themselves what is going on. So before you get depressed thinking it is all because of something you did, think again. It could well be them.

If you think this is a possibility that relates to your relationship, then the key is to back off a little. Don’t exactly play hard to get, but don’t smother your partner or ex, behave as though you don’t mind what they do, either way.

And they’ll come around – you’ll see.

Good luck!

Gemma

The first question you need to ask is;” Do I really understand my partner?” We all like to be understood, but how good are we at understanding others? In fact how willing are we to even try to understand our partners?

Your partner won’t necessarily tell you what it is they feel they need from you, because they may not even know themselves. But you have the resources to find out – simply by asking the right questions. The more we know about a person, the more we are able to understand them.

Make a concerted effort to learn about your partner and everything he or she likes. Do not think about what either of you don’t like! That will set off the critical voice in your head and cause more negativity. Just stick to all the positive stuff. Your partner will soon notice you are getting involved with their interests and become more receptive to your wants and needs. Understanding each other makes for a lasting relationship and strengthens your love.

And yet these people will still often fail to notice when things start to go wrong. As well as the rest of us that can’t see it at all, and feel like we have been hit by a sledgehammer when in fact an imminent breakup was creeping up on us all the time, the perceptive person can still be caught out.

A lot of these perceptive people realize that the signs had been there all along, but had chosen to ignore them. The biggest signs were ‘gut’ feelings that something was wrong. And that’s the key! Our gut feelings are rarely wrong, and instead of ignoring them, we need to take notice before the relationship spirals out of control.

Your partner could be telling you one thing, but behaving a different way. This contradiction is usually a huge sign that all is not well.

Other common signs of an impending breakup are:

• Your partner becomes secretive
• There is a change in their routine
• They want to spend less time with you
• They forget important dates
• They go out with friends more than you
• They don’t express love as often as they used to
• They don’t propose within five years of dating
• They pick fights over insignificant things
• They continue friendships with ex partners
• They start to browse dating sites
• 
  

These clues can often mean the writing’s on the wall, but it does not mean your relationship is definitely doomed. It just means the spark has gone for your partner, but there are ways you can get it back!

You just need to be willing to change your outlook and behavior. So no, a breakup is not inevitable, and you are already in the right place to start to put things right!

Great advice as always from T Dub. For more videos from TW Jackson go to his  Magic of Making Up site. Make sure you check out the Testimonials video too!

Last week I told you we would soon let you know about how Phil and I were able to stop our relationship breakup and stay together. Well, we have now added a page all about it. In the Review page I have written a review of the book our friend T Dub wrote after he helped us stay together when the going was tough.

Well it turns out there are lots of people who want to know how to stop a break up or how to get an ex back, and the book is now a bestseller! And we couldn’t be more delighted for T Dub, because he really knows what he’s talking about.

Read my opinion about it here on the Review Page and T Dub’s website is at www.TheMagicOfMakingUp.com

Hope you enjoy it!

Gemma

OK guys this is not going to make an iota of sense if you do not have a basic knowledge of anatomy!

We send our newsletter using Aweber, which is an ethical company who do everything they can to ensure all subscribers only receive information that they signed up for themselves.

Aweber also make it very easy for subscribers to unsubscribe, should they ever want to stop receiving our emails. All they have to do is click the unsubscribe link at the bottom of any email from us.

However, it seems there is some confusion about the function of the Unsubscribe Link.

Due to unethical marketers who send unsolicited email to people who did not give their consent to receive it (SPAMMERS), there is misleading advice floating around.

Many sources are advising people NEVER to click on an unsubscribe link, as it tells spammers that the email is a live email address, and opens the floodgates for more spam.

However, that advice is only for spammers. At Stop That Breakup, we already know subscribers’ emails are live because they clicked a link to confirm their subscription when they first signed up.

Ethical newsletter publishers such as ourselves, who only send information consented to by subscribers, offer unsubscribe links that really do what they are supposed to.

When you click the unsubscribe link in our emails, you will have the option to change your details or unsubscribe completely. If you unsubscribe, you will not hear from us again, and as we state on our signup page, we do not sell or rent your details to anyone else.

Phil and I want to send you valuable information that you will be pleased to receive. We also want to know what sort of information you would like to receive from us in future and we welcome your comments and suggestions. If you are happy to receive our emails, you might want to add us to your Contacts or Address book, then none of our emails will end up getting filtered out. You can still unsubscribe at any time.

But one man who knows exactly how you can stop a breakup is a man Phil and I turned to when we were desperate for help in stopping our breakup. His book on how to do it and has helped couples all over the world stay together, and I will keep you posted just as soon as we have the full details. Watch this space!

How to spice up your relationship with a bit of knife humor.

“Respect isn’t something you’re just given; respect is something you have to force on the other individual”

Love it!

Research has shown that women are attracted to men who wear red. They find men in red more powerful, attractive and sexually desirable than men wearing other colors, according to a new study by the University of Rochester.

So fellas, if you don’t want to lose your woman, you need to wear red. A university professor says so!

“We found that women view men in red as higher in status, more likely to make money and more likely to climb the social ladder,” says lead researcher Andrew Elliot, professor of psychology at the University of Rochester, in a university news release. “It is this high status judgment that leads to the attraction.”

You may think it’s because women think of guys wearing red as passionate or sensitive, but in fact it is because the color made men appear attractive and powerful, but it had no effect on whether a man was likable, kind or sociable.

The study was conducted on undergraduate men and women in the United States, the UK, China and Germany, and it was found that the “red effect” is consistent across cultures. This leads Elliot to believe the results to be biological in nature, and not culturally ingrained.

In the study, women were shown a series of photos of men in different colored tees and were asked about their interest in dating, kissing and more with the men in the pictures. No trend was found with any other color.

But then the guy who did the experiment does seem to have a fascination with the color red. He found in 2007 that red could impair the ability to perform competitively, and in 2008 that women in red were more attractive to men.

Well in theory he should be attracted to this blog then, shouldn’t he?