If you need to stop a breakup ASAP, you really need to dump the negative vibes even sooner.
Are you the sort of person who says phrases like “knowing my luck” or “that’s typical!” or “as usual” in a sarcastic or despairing tone when conversing with your partner?
In the same way that people would rather be right than be happy, we often have our default setting on the negative. It’s such an ingrained habit of ours to complain, we are totally unaware of how our behavior comes across to other people.
Even little remarks like that add to the mountain of negative comments we make a hundred times a day, and even others will not necessarily know what it is that puts them off us, but put them off us it does!
There is a reason for everything. So instead of just responding to stuff with a defensive knee-jerk reaction, ask yourself what the underlying reason could be.
Rather than look for the negative in life, your partner or whatever, discover the reason and accept it, or deal with it in a positive way.
If you oppose something, do so positively. Check out the difference between the following statements that could be spoken in any relationship:
“You see? This is the thing about you – you always do this! Every time I try to suggest something, you always have to ruin it by saying it’s a bad idea!”
“I understand what you mean honey, maybe it isn’t a practical suggestion for this week, but would you consider it for sometime over the next few weeks? If we do it, and you hate it, you can choose the next thing we do. How about that?”
The second response is not only non-accusatory, it is giving your partner a choice. Once they have a choice, they will feel more involved and be more open to your suggestions in future. Even if they don’t like your idea, they are much more likely to reason with you fairly about it.
So break up with the negative vibes, and not your partner!